Mama Drama

('Haven't we had enough of it?)

'Had the best day ever yesterday, muchos fun. Went with Box Box to Ikea at the ungodly hour of 11:00 (hiddddeously early). We attempted to go shopping for clothes but all the stores were clothes (who gets up at 11:00 anyway?, this is what I was trying to convey to Box Box). We then headed to Ikea, where I lay on the beds uselessly while Box Box struggled with the tape measure. We then headed downstairs, where I proceeded to sit in a trolley and pretend I had mental problems, embarrassing Box Box wholly (by proclaiming loudly "I'm hiding! I am good at hiding, like I told no one about your vibrator in your second drawer" and stroking the shop assistant's face and pronouncing him a "niiice man")

(So my midday drinking took far longer than usual (about two days) and I was far too drunk in the evenings to update.Unless what you guys want to read is mindless drunken burble... wait a second, why else would you be reading this?)

So after Ikea, we went to Cotton On, where I got new jeans, a matching bra and knicker tarten set - why? I do not know, it was exciting at the time - red shoes and a grey vest top. I demanded Box Box come with me for a beer at Cul De Sac - didn't I always tell you shopping makes me thirsty? - and some lung ruination.

Soon after this we parted our seperate ways to get ready for l-l-ladies night (my favourite night of the week). I went home and talked about nothing in partiular to no one in particular and quickly threw on a dress and a pair of tights, with the strange red shoes that didn't go but whatever. I was MEANT to be seeing M at Red at around 7ish, but I got up there to find Aardvark and MB (model buddy) sitting morosely and smoking (not MB, just Aardvark). MB and I had a very good conversation about some particularly unsavoury people (namely one unsavoury person - you won't ever guess who). M showed up late as usual (one of the curses of the rich is that they expect everyone to wait for them...) and we headed to G Bar for copious amounts of vodka, jaegar and red bull (oh and a couple of beers to finish off)... a rather hot 'n steamy video was made when Box Box joined us and had a jaegarbomb (she's asian, thats the equivalent of a galleon of absynthe to the average white person). We then skiddadled down to LKF, because Panth was summoning M and probably wasn't all too pleased about us hanging. So, off M went with Panth (not before I offered her an apology, though half-hearted, I don't think I'll try again since she rejected it) and Aardvark, Box Box, Lazang headed to Balaika's - where they make some of the best drinks in the world. After an attempt to get into Fevar - with me stupidly forgetting the D.OB. on Lazang's ID - we headed to Zinc where we did some death-defying pole dancing, which was - as always - amazingly fun to get oggled that much (though I did particularly miss being friends with Panth at this point, and I also missed RWP - she was in Thailand - overly much) and I always appreciate getting photos taken and drinks bought for me. We then got a call from some people at my school and they told us to get our butts over to Yi Lou, this new-ish club just below Behold, which wasn't much fun so we soon went for a last-ditch attempt at Fevar which was a GREAT SUCCESS! We danced like idiots and I avoided people I didn't want to talk to (or people who knew my names and I didn't know theirs - cus that's always awkward...).

Friday morning woke up with the worst hangover ever at around midday. I then headed out to Dan Ryan's for lunch with M (soup, anyone?). Box Box soon joined us and finished our leftovers and we all headed to Balalaika's (never is it too early to go to Balalaika's!) to meet up with RWP, FAB, Lazang and Aardvark. FAB and I were meant to be planning our attack on KGV in order to win Student Council - we actually didn't get very far since we proceeded to empty various substances down our throats instead. After accumulating a tab of around $800 dollars, graciously discounted by Herbert, our main maaaan, we headed to Cul De Sac for a few beers too, and discussed drink/cigarette extraction methods - FAB favours the whole pouting and squishing boobs together move, something I somehow can never pull off, and RWP and I favour the less subtle "dude can you buy me a drink?". After finishing a couple of beers there (and the rest of my last pack of cigarettes :( ) we headed to La Bodega for some excellent draught Carlsbergs, which always a good way to round off a long day of drinking.

A new day, another excruciating hangover, AND I had to work in the morning. 'Headed out to the Cricket Club for a facepainting gig which was pretty fun. The kids were not nearly as unpleasant as the ones last week and they were considerably cuter, which of course made them more likable. I packed up at the end and headed to the pool to swim (as I am a member and I was there anyway) which got me some funny looks from other people - it was pretty cold - and some even funnier looks from the parents of the birthday child - I think she thought I was scabbing off her membership priveliges, so I quickly explained I was a member. After this, I called RWP and M, RWP was drunk as usual, slumped over the bar at Balalaika's and M was having a get together at his house that evening which we both decided to attend (hey! good company and free booze, what more could you want in this cold, unforgiving world.). RWP came to meet me at the Cricks where we both moped (and wondered whether we could get CAS points for moping) and smoked (rhymage?) and drank, and even ATE (YES LADIES AND GENTS, I SAID ATE!) a bit of calamari. We then proceeded to M's lovely house, to be greeted by a maid who looked straight out of a Victorian novel, in a uniform and everything - which in my opinion is slightly degrading but whatever. We then found a bunch of people congregating around the bar in his living room (both the fact that my friend has a bar and the fact that my friends are congregating around it was no surprise) and we had a few drinks as people kept arriving. To cut a long story short, M and I managed to get in a huge fight (not unusually) and I really am SICK of him. You are ego-centric, money centred, and completely and utterly socially inept. If you want to apologise for something you aren't really sorry for, don't do it. Don't just utter your apology and then say, I didn't really mean that. You are spoilt and ridiculous, and quite frankly I am quite glad I am not you, despite being 'ugly' and 'poor'.

So yeah, fuck you M.

Moneybus!

So last night was vaguely horrible. Whatever, the whole point of my blog is to amuse, not to depress, so I will not go into details of my shitty life.

'Was up 'till 4 getting screamed at by my mother, so I only awoke at 3. My mother insisted on going to lunch with me (I would've rather have thrown myself into a vat of boiling lava, naked - but my mother doesn't allow me these choices) to Bread and Breakfast. Let me tell you, there is nothing I hate more than overprice breakfasts (glorified egg on toast). Just because they cost two hundred dollars doesn't mean they taste better. It also doesn't make your dining companion any nicer... ho hum.

After this particularly excruciating ordeal, I headed down to central to go buy some tights, a book and possibly a phone. I actually managed one of these three things so I was actually quite pleased with myself. After scrounging around in World Wide House - that place scares the shit out of me, I never know how to get out :S - for a phone (to no avail), I headed to IFC roof for a cigarette - something about shopping makes me crave fresh air - and a glass of wine at Red- again, shopping makes me thirsty. While sitting outside Red looking disgruntled I saw a bunch of twelve year old whores (I hate these almost as much as I hate over-priced breakfasts) and their male counterparts. They kept on looking at me and I felt like punching them in the face, but I already have a criminal record for grevious bodily harm...

I couldn't find the book I wanted anywhere, so I headed back home and got ready for dinner with my father at the Cricket Club. 'Had some mediocre food and even more mediocre conversation, and headed home to write this.

Oh! And the reason for the title is that today I called a minibus a moneybus, I am such a jew.

x

Lazy Sundays, Moody Mondays and Terrible Tuesdays

So Sunday, 'Went to work at like mid-fucking-day, in Stanley. 

NIGHTMARE bratty white kids. I was a fairly unimpressed Princess Belle and the birthday girl looked at me like I was something on the bottom of her shoe, hardly the reaction  I was looking for. Again, I never ever want children, they are insolent, rude and very ungrateful for you squeezing them out of a certain orifice.... I was VERY hungover and the LAST thing I wanted was for some two-bit mini uber-blonde reminding me how much I hate my job. I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...

Monday met up with Box Box in Central (after she woke me up by telling my brother it was an emergency phonecall and to wake me up - i could've hit her over the head with a frying pan, NO ONE WAKES ME UP BEFORE MIDDAY IN THE HOLIDAYS) to go with her familia to Chinese New Year lunch. Box Box has delightfully Chinese relatives (though herself being quite the sino-phobe) and they were very friendly (and generous with their li-ci {sp?} packets) even though Box Box and I spent the majority of the time laughing in the corner by ourselves. The food was really great - though I had NO CLUE what I was eating half the time. We then took a taxi (yes, i know... it was chinese new year and we were CELEBRATING) into central from Box box's relative's place in Parkview. Once there, we skidaddled (sp?) to Cotton On, to find - to our horror! - it was closed. After much humming and aahing - we hate when our plans for free clothing are interrupted - we headed to H&M to get some delightful things, though we didnt find anything and Tami actually BOUGHT something.

After this, we went to Zara where we had considerably more success. i picked myself up a one shouldered black dress and a checked black and white tube dress - great success! - and Box Box got various things. Flushed with the success of our 'purchases' we headed back to mine. I then called my dad to force him to buy us dinner - but we had to stop at Balalaika's for a drink first (an absolutely necessary step) . At dinner at the FCC my father warned me about the million thousand dangers of smoking - his favourite thing to do in the world - and I enjoyed my bangers n mash while Box Box looked on enviously over her rather sad chicken tikka salad.

I love family dinners.

I then headed back home and watched twilight. AS MUCH AS I HATED THE FILM, I must say, in the scene where whatever-that-pale-faced-girl-with-no-personality-is-called walks in and sees the hot-in-a-really-cliched-kind-of-way-vampire in the bio labs, and he has the bird wings behind him and he looks like an angel, the filming is almost good. Actually it was a really well filmed scene. So mad props for turning a shit book into an-almost decently filmed movie!

On Tuesday I slept in, I always sleep in but whatever, and awoke to find C tutoring my brother in his room and my mother doing something. No-one was noticing me so I got down to what I do best, (not that you sick bitches) I did nothing. Then I had a shower, and did some more of nothing. Then I had a family outing (I hate family outings.... scratch that I hate my family) to JM's house. It's actually decently nice but I HATE going to Sai Kung so I am always in a bad mood. We had some delicious Argentenian beef and I think my mother actually made a friend or two which is amazing

Anyway, I am getting the shit kicked out of me by two 15 year olds...

ciao love you

TO BLOG... OR NOT TO BLOG?

So for once I was actually contemplating NOT updating, I KNOW! QUELLE HORREUR!

So where do I start? I think with Friday probably.

So, most of you will probably find this HILARIOUS but me and Fresh Air Buddie are running for student council. Yes you read correctly, and you better fucking vote for us because we are awesome (I REALLY need to do something political so I can do politics at uni :) ) and cus if you don't you know I'll beat the crap out of you.

I was in detention on friday, which you all know is not unusual (though it is the first of it's kind at KGV!) and all I did was colour in my nails a funny shade of purple which I found and stole in lost property. Everytime the teacher walked in I had to pretend to be doing something productive (who says coloring in your nails is not productive?) and pretend to work.. Hai, I hate Fridays.

'Got the bus home - cus I'm poor - and met two delightful Lebanese twins who go to my school (I rudely interrpted their conversation, demanding to know what language they spoke, and they were oh so gracious about it, unlike normal people who react violently when I randomly accosted them) and speaking to them was far more amusing then trying to struggle through John Stuart Mill's On Liberty (ONE of the most tiring books in the world).

Went home, showered and stuffs, went to my Daddy's house for dinner with a slight detour to balaika's for ONE drink and had a nice chat with Herbert, the delightful bartender.

Saturday morning was woken up too early for my liking (11:00) because C had come over to tutor my brother and I maths. 'Had a little trouble with simultaneous equations but other than that it went fine. For lunch, C and I went to Taco Loco (classy?) and talked for two hours about random things (Obama, social cliques, women's rights, the Israeli Palestinian conflict among thenm) and then I hopped to the office to do my accounts.

'Got home with just 1 hour to get ready, LEAPT into the bath and hurried out to Blue Bar to meet M, this plan failed as blue bar seemed to be shut, so we re-arranged to meet at Buddha Lounge (also shut) and finally rendez-vous'd at Balalaika's (Why sdo we only hangout at bars beginning with "B"?). 'Said hi to Herbert, had a jaeger bomb and a corona and proceeded to go to Azure at the top of the LKF hotel, where I had yet another jaegerbomb, two vodka redbulls and three glasses of wine. Then I met C (M ditched me for dinner) at Balalaika's (I spend a hell of a lot of time in that place...) and we had a beer before exiting to meet Tami et al, for M's CNY party.

Got there and they weren't letting people in without ID so C and I reckoned we'd give it a try, him being 19 and everything, and we got in just fine. Once in there, not wanting to sit with people I knew, I steered C over to a group of random looking people and our night started! Long story short, I got steadily drunker and sluttier (more slutty than usual, can you believe it?) and I wound up home by 1:30 like the good gilr who obeys curfew does...

DID NOT FEEL GREAT THIS MORNING, but last night was kind of fun. Oh except for the fact M and Panther aren't talking to me. Panther and I had a HUGE fight in the VIP room about the whole gossip girl thing. The funny thing is, I was sure I'd told her and she made the strangest comment to me, "You always do this, Cassi"

I am not going into this, because getting revenge via blog is really truly pathetic. In fact I don't want revenge at all in fact as she is one of my best friends.

But com'on Panth, you and me both know that ain't right.

Thats the way the cookie crumbles!

So after Textiles (this is yesterday) i had... I don't remember what. but anyway!

Lunchtime, Mr. Rodda aproached me (with his scary smile and homosexual jewellary not to mention is scarily white eyelashes) to remind me that his meeting with my mother with my mother was imminant (say, at like 2:30), JUST what I wanted to be reminded of. On the upside, I got to miss PE which I don't usually go to anyway but still, there is always an upside to being a teenage delinquent.

Anyways, so at the meeting they said the usual things ("Cassi really is intelligent, she just doesn't do... well, anything. She needs to work to her potential to be able to stay in this fine (crap) instituition of young minds (garbage)"). So after wrestling with this VERY strange sentence - all the while trying not to stare at mr. rodda's eyelashes (I have never heard my school refered to as a "fine instituition" by anyone, let alone the teachers who have to deal with all my issues on a daily basis. THEY should be the ones in rehab, or at least some kind of mental institution, do they not see how utterly mad everyone in this place is (RWP refers to my school as "Prison" - which is really something from someone coming from Island School :0 )

So after this particularly surreal episode in the IT support room (see how shit our school is, they don't even have a decent place to have meetings with parents - siu mai just reminded me of the conference room, but it was probably being used by some other delinquent's parents) I headed outside with my mother (neither of us talking, we don't really talk) then reminded her I had fashion show rehearsals (I didn't) and headed off to central to go smoke by myself in IFC roof because i AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FRIENDLESS! yay! Fortunately once I got up there I bumped into 'Fro and Jamie (WILL THINK OF CODE NAME LATER) so at least I didn't look too lonely. However they soon buggered off to the gym to go get "BAFFF" and I went to WRP's house. Where she provided me with delightful things such as cherry tomatoes, peanuts, cookies (hence the blog title) and of course, her juices ;)

We had a lovely time making use of the school uniform - making it innapropriate - and taking photos on her awesome computer (WITH NEW LAMP - WRP is no longer orange :):) ) and bitched about the lack of remotely suitable (we'd settle for just human at this point) males in our lives. Also how all males are completely and utterly given to screwing us over.... How awful are our lives? Haha. At the end of all this amusement, I made her walk down with me (like I always do) and I had an inhalation sensation while she formed a plan for us to screw up various people... I love my best friend.

Got home, didn't blog (!) because I couldn't be fucked (hence me writing about the rest of yesterday, today) and realised I haven't had a drink in exactly a week, which is more than a little alarming. Anyway, watched some serial killer documentary on TV (Fred and Rose West, the most alarming ones of the lot, they freak the shit out of me).

This morning, didn't set my alarm so I woke to the dulcet tones of my mother's voice screaming at me for not setting my alarm (dude, I was up like ten minutes late) and I slammed my door in her face and locked it...

No Wheel today, so my bus ride was fairly uneventful and I was bored out of my mind, no tip for the 7-11 lady (she actually gave me more change then she should've, which made my Jew senses tingle) Then I had film studies where Koko, Excellent Victory and Twin no.1 (or 2., I am not too sure with those two, if you have them next to each other and you look at one, then the other lots of times it's really fucking trippy haha)

Now I am in my free with Siu Mai and I wish I had English rite now.

OH MY BLOG!

Textiles is the best lesson to blog in... We are allowed computers and Mrs. Walton doesn't particularly check up on us. Also, I don't count Textiles as one of my important subjects (haha okay, so it's not my ONE important subject, basically it's not English).

So... I guess I don't need to tell you I went to sleep late last night, I have pretty much turned nocturnal (during the day I am a zombie powered with 3 or 4 cans of redbulls). I actually went to bed earlir than usual last night however, as my mother turned up home EARLY (at like 12:00) and I was still on the computer. Wishing to avoid talking to my dear mother, I pulled the plug out of the socket (apparently that's bad for your comouter, but thats the only way I ever switch mine off :S) ran to my room, only to find all my new clothes all over my bed, I hastily switched off the light, threw my duvet on top of them and it looked like I was in bed, albeit uncomfortably. So I waited till I thought she was safely passed out, but as I stealthily lef t my room she was slumped against a wall (uh-oh) and saw me and immediatly starts slurring at me... OH Great. Did I mention that her breath at this point was strong enough to get ME drunk (and I pride myself on my high tolerance) or at least pickle Vladimir Lenin, just my standing near her. So as usual I am faced with the diemma of whether I should just turn around and hope she doesn't recognise me (unlikey as I am her daughter) or stay and talk for two mintues then try and extricate myself and actually go to bed. I went for the latter and stood with her in the kitchen for a bit while she ate. Let me tell you, I cannot think of anything more disgusting then watching a drunk person eat, it drives me abso-fucking-lutely mad to see half a masticated vegetable rolling around in some moron's mouth. I love my mother... not.

Anyway, I finally got out of there (I hardly ever interact with my mother, but when I do it's almost always unpleasant...) and chucked all the stuff that was formally IN my bed, UNDER it which was a slight improvement, but it didn't all quite fit so some of it was spilling out... Kind of like trying to put a thousand popcorn kernals into a popcorn cup that's only made to hold 700. In other words, difficult to make it look like my room look remotely neat... :(

Fell asleep immediatly, much to my surprise and woke up at 6:30 feeling rather good. Good mood didn't last long (they never do) when I saw that my mother was up and she was making eggs. I HATE WHEN MY MOTHER IS UP IN THE MORNINGS, IT RUINS MY WHOLE GROOVE. So we had a screaming match about her drinking - not unusually - and she denied it, which made me laugh quite hysterically (really, who does she think she's kidding, I'm not as dumb as people think)...

So I hopped on the bus and to my surprise, Wheel was on there (he stalks me in the mornings, it's really quite nice) and I laughed at his silly tracksuit trousers. Sorry Wheel, you know I love you majorly... This cheered me up more than usual, and as I made my usual 7-11 stop I was practically SMILING (ok, maybe that's taking it a little far, but I WAS considerably cheerier than I had been when I left my house) and I bought my redbulls, gum and cigs and even gave the lady a tip - which was meant to be my lunch money, but she really is nice and always lets me buy cigs in my school uniform, I hope we can be friends :) I kid.

First period of the day was TOK which I slept through entirely, despite having consumed two cans of red bull previosuly. THE BLOODY GUY ON THE LEFT OF ME KEPT TAPPING THE TABLE AND KEPT LAUGHING WHEN I SHOT HIM THE EVIL EYE. I can't believe he ruined the only sleep I usually get, I am going to kill that cunt.

Then I had maths when my and Gyppo argued about who was more of a pikey, me or him (I said him because he has darker skin and went to state school and he said me 'cus I was from eastern europe, my point was blatently better...) and we had a math test to which of my answers were mostly "?" which probably won't get me any marks (so I decorated them with flowers, they'll have to give me a mark for that...).

Next up was Film in which Sunshine and I had to make our Genre Presentations. Sunshine has been telling me for two WEEKS to write a script, he wrote one, I didn't and winged it, and the teacher said I was better. HAHAHAHA IN YO' FACE, I TOLD YOU I WAS THE QUEEN OF BULLSHIT :).

So now I am in Textiles, I just made my Challenge Week (like a week were we all go on a school trip) choice, and I chose Year 8 Camp, as I am banned from going abroad by the school (Cambodia etc) with Fuzzy, Capes, R and J&J

YAY! Not, I fucking hate year eights, I am going to ANNIHILATE THEM

Doggy Style

OMG MATT TEAGUE JACKED OFF HIS DOG
MEGALOL

AND ARVEEN JUST CALLED ME COOL

I just remembered...

Island School Gossip Girl...

I am not sure if you heard, Island School has a new Gossip Girl. I was so amused by this when I heard as I found it nice not to be targeted by this sort of thing. Apparently it's a lot of fun talking about me, or at least there is no gossip over there, because look at the text the Island School kids all received this afternoon

"We have all head about C.T infamous clit piercing but we were never sure if it was really true. M.V. was kind enough to check for us during a night of steamy alone time and sure enough there is no explicit jewellery to speak of. Well, someone was bound to find out in the end. Xoxo GG"

COME ON PEOPLE, get over the old news. Talk about something new for a change.

Infintessimal decimals

So after "French" I had English, which was crazy awesome as usual.

BUT may I just say, what the fuck does that bitch who sits at the back of our classroom with her laptop think she is? I swear if she asks me to say 'please', or tell me not to come in late. OUR REAL TEACHER DOESN'T MIND AND NOR SHOULD YOU. May I also tell you to stop trying to start the class earlier when Mr. Wheeler isn't there, it's not making you anymore popular with us 'kids' and I kind of want to put your head in a fishbowl with piranhas in it (T and Stoner were showing me the sickest - and most awesomely cool - videos of rats getting torn apart by piranhas, now that's entertainment. p.s. I would like a piranha for christmas please?)

So we had lunch time and Box Box came into my school which always makes me feel super happy. I also saw Buckle for the last ever time which was mucho depressing, but I wrote him a nice letter in philosophy which I spent ages decorating, I fucking hope he appreciates that shit, I did it in my BEST handwriting... During lunch I didn't do much, caught up with Box Box which was pretty nice - she doesn't read my blog which is usually grounds to ditch a friend but she is more like a dirty bandaid - she's ugly, slightly yellow and refuses to get off my back. I kid :).

Lunch was finally over - I hate lunchtimes at my school, they make me feel so AWKWARD! Seriously, talk about getting "SSC-ed" (the act of standing with a group of people who suddenly disperse and leave you all alone looking like a pillock) - that shit happens to ME everyday. Though I am pretty sure it's not by accident. I must make friends I must make friends I must make friends...

Anyway, Fresh Air Buddie and I decided that assembly sucked so we ditched and got ready to leave school. However Mr. I'm-a-dwarf-and-i-feel-emasculated-around-real-men-like-Cassi-Wightman was standing at the gate so we couldn't leave, much to our dismay. But we were dying for a cigarette and there was no way we were going back to assembly, so we climbed all the stairs to our old smoking place. However, this has become risky over the last couple of months as random teachers occasionally wander up there and we have to stub out our cigs (I fucking hate wasting cigarettes) and act innocent (which is highly difficult with a face like mine). So, Fresh Air Buddie (the brains behind many a furtive smoking operations came up with a brilliant idea : we slit UNDER the gate of the tennis court and climbed UP the ladder to the roof roof, it was ingenius! I was v. impressed and only SLIGHTLY put off by my fear of ladders (well, okay, I was a lot put off but that doesnt sound very cool, does it?).

So after our various inhalation escapades we returned to the ground to go retrieve FAB's bag from the locker room... But alas! as we round the corner we almost come face to face with Mr. St. Paul. Luckily for us, Mr. St. Paul doesn't realise the difference between assembly and break time (I bet he couldnt even find his way to his own nose, as nice as he is) so we had a quick chat with him which resulted in no detentions... result!

After this near perilous run-in with a teacher we finally got to the locker room where we found a whole bunch of people sitting on the floor, avoiding assemblies - this is how much our school hates Mr. Wickins' speeches, they are so boring they make reading Jane Austen sound appealing and I fucking HATE Jane Austen.

I met up with Box Box at around 3:20 and we hopped down to Mongkok to take the train back to civilization (Central, nowhere in Kowloon is civilised). Then we shimmied our way to Cotton On where I inadvertantly borrowed some lingerie and a jumper (or three). I then persuaded Box Box that coming to my house would be MUCH more useful in later life than studying for her SATs which are on Saturday (OR CATTURDAY! :):):) ), so she came over to my ghetto mid-levels apartment.

MAY I JUST TELL YOU ONE THING ABOUT MY APPARTMENT: It is small. Think... if you ever found the last digit of pi and put as many zeros in front of it as digits, thats the size of my house in square millimetres. Or if you measure how many minutes of school Muffin DOESN'T sleep through and you will have the size of my flat in millimetres. My house is smaller than Box Box's boobs! NOW do you get my point? AND, of this space, my dog takes up approximately ten 5ths of it (for you idiots out there, that's twice the size). It's not much fun going to my house...

I wish I had money. I would rather have money than love. I know a lot of people who say this, but I am abso-fucking-lutely serious. Love can't buy you the new box of pure gold crayons or a pet piranha with diamond teeth (though I am sure if you have ever broken up with someone you have felt like throwing them to the piranhas, money will allow for this) and other absolutely necessary items for day to day life.

Alas, my faithful readers, when I have money I shall die happily when I get eaten by my jewel encrusted piranha...
:)

It's Blog o'clock!

WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S BLOG O'CLOCK

Good Morning, faithful readers! I am writing from the SSC right now and Dhairya is laughing at me. So where did I leave you? Ah, last night. So I spent the whole of last night researching Charles Manson (I am not sure if you know this, but i have an encyclopedic knowledge of serial killers - fred and rose west, zodiac, yorkshire ripper etc etc.) and I found out he was like best friends with one of the beach boys, isn't that like fucked up?

Anyway, after this I as usual forced people to read my blog. I am actually getting some really nice feedback which i am tres pleased about - I am glad you find my life more interesting than I do!

So, went to bed late last night (omg! routine change... not) and forgot to write my leaving letter to buckle, which I should totally do right now but my blog, as always, takes priority :). Talking about buckle he is going to come to school today, which will be the last time I see him before he goes away which is pretty sad.

!

This morning I got up (I was randomly talking about me being "the only human here" in my sleep) and snoozed for about quarter of an hour which ALWAYS makes me late - but hey, i'm not complaining, I am not that much of a fan of kgv. So, I skidaddled off to central (but not before I bumped into Danwheel which was a very pleasant surprise - he was standing right outside my house! It made my day), picked up three red bulls and a pack of cigs, like every morning - TECHNICALLY I am not meant to be having sugar, but hey I sure as hell need fuckloads to get through a day in this shithole

At laaaaaast I arrive at Mongkok to a bursting-at-the-seams taxi queue.

NOTE TO LOCAL SCHOOL KIDS: PLEASE SHARE YOUR FUCKING CABS! I GET SO FUCKING PISSED WHEN I HAVE TO STAND IN A QUEUE FOR HALF A FUCKING HOUR WAITING FOR TEN KIDS WHO GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL GETTING IN ONE CAB EACH. STOP.BEING.SUCH.FUCKING.MORONS.

Anyway, throughout this ordeal, a strangely clad Indian woman with makeup that looked like it had been applied with garden tools was standing really close to me - I really thought my bag was about to get jacked. However, after half an hour from strange stares from me she suddenly asks me if she can share a cab with me. Seriously, why didn't she ask this while I was looking at her like she was a criminal?? COME ON PEOPLE LEARN SOCIAL SKILLS, PEOPLE GET FREAKED OUT WHEN YOU STAND CLOSE TO THEM.

Oh! I found out something SO utterly disgusting yesterday, SOMEONE in my year lost his virginity to a prostitute on his eighteenth birthday last friday.

My question is WHY do people do this?

• People don't think it's cool
• You'll probably never get laid again in high school
• You probably have more diseases than Paris Hilton
• You're friends will alienate you 

So on that cheerful note, i must bid you adieu

love as always.

x

Willpower triumphs!

So, as I am feeling in a particularly droll mood, I decided to write another blog pot (sorry did i say pot!? I meant post!) So where did we leave off? Oh yes, Textiles!

So after Textiles I had French - which I am refusing to attend due to artistic differences with my sub teacher (I haven't gone in two months, are you proud of me?) - which I spent in the SSC (kind of like a sixth form common room) with MUF, midget, muffin and S. Midget suddenly is overcome with a craving to go smoke a spliff and I am overcome with the urge to have a cigarette, so off we head to leave school to partake in these various illegal but rewarding activities.

ALAS, WHY do we have a new guard at our school? I would really like to make an official complaint. He refused to let us leave school for 'safety reasons' and didnt even let us smoke in his toilet, HOW RUDE.

So after this minor obstacle, we discussed routes of escape, only to realise that we as a group were all very suspicious looking (at least two of us have criminal records) so we ditched the escape idea because once a teacher sees us all together they would never let us out of their sight...

SO MUF had the bright idea of the tennis courts, which seemed like a dumb idea at the time but in retrospect was pretty good (funny how it's usually the other way) and the boys happily smoked their J and I happily smoked my cigarette. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE LUNGFUL OF MARAJUANA (sp?) MAY I JUST SAY. This is why the blog is entitled "Willpower triumphs!" because I always thought I had little to no willpower but turns out (even though i was quite the pothead way back when) I can refuse a joint! How impressed are you with me, dear readers?

So we climbed back under the barrier and headed downstairs without event (can you imagine how happy the school would be if they caught me with a bunch of boys smoking illegal substances?)

Anyway, had English last period and, VERY uncharactiristically, slept through it - which I felt SO bad about because I really do love English. That and the fact that Mr. Wheeler is the only teacher who's face I DON'T want to smash into a barrel of fecundant sardines mixed with live piranhas.

After this, I headed home with Marky and Ben and hopped to my 'work' on my computer (not after oh-so-gracefully slamming my head on the computer)

MOBSCENE!
ITS BETTER THAN A SEX SCENE

I am currently listening to Marilyn Manson... what the FUCK is wrong with me. I need help.

Toodles.

Willpower triumphs!

MAHIR VACHANI

IS MY GOD

Nike

Just do it!

Kay, boring boring boring day yesterday. 'Got home from school a little late after a chance run-in with my godmother in law (she was about as uncomfortable as a black guy at a Klu Klux Clan meeting). Once I arrived at home my room looked like a large bomb had been planted in my room and instead of going off it was covered in clothes. I guess I couldve just said that my room was covered in clothes but that would be an achingly dull description. Anyway, after sifting through a mountain of newly 'purchased' clothes and half Dilemma and WRP's wardrobe's (plus a bag of box box's discarded things). After this particularly tiresome ordeal (which involved me shoving everything that fit under my bed) I settled down to 'work'.

I am not sure if you've realised, but this abstract ideal of 'work' has always confused me. For example, I could be talking to my friends and updating my blog and classify that as work (which I do very often) because it requires a certain amount of effort for my large and ungainly digits to press the tiny little letters on my keyboard -that and the fact that I type one handed - makes it pretty hard going. So after various superfluous conversations with people I don't really like and people telling my to do my homework (as i have already stated, I WAS doing my work), I discussed photoshoots with various people. Mayun wants to shoot with my this sunday and he's thinking a kind of grungey, alleyway, homeless kind of shoot. I reckoned this is brilliant as I don't even have to leave home to shoot it (since I live in an alley in a cadboard box anyway). By the time I had finished my 'work', it was already 11, and the precise minute i switched off my computer my home phone (yes, I have phone in my alley) rang and I got a delightful long-distance call from someone I had completely forgotten about (well maybe not, thinking about obsessively is more like it, but that doesnt sound particularly cool) unfortunately nothing interesiting to report, just the usual awkward banter and I managed to be off the phone in minutes (Hey, he doesn't read my blog so I can say what I like!)

FINALLY I got into my bath and read 1984 (for the gazillionth time) at the same time, though I do not advise you bringing your favourite book into the bath with you as it tends to get water and soapy substances on it.

At last I collapsed into bed at the ungodly hour of about 1:30 and actually slept through the night for once (thanks to some awfully potent new sleeping pills).

'Woke up this morning in a mighty foul mood. WHICH IS FUCKING DUMB because I do this every time I wake up after a particularly late night and I ALWAYS tell myself I will never stay up late doing 'work' ever again. But I always do. ANYHOODLE, only had a ery minor argument with my mother - SHOCK! HORROR! - and managed to get to school almost without incident (apart from the stupid queue of local kids I almost beat up at the Taxi Rank, I mean SERIOUSLY, YOU GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL, SHARE A FUCKING CAB ALREADY!). First lesson was film where we are watching an absolutely surreal movie called "12 Monkeys" which is so fucking awesome it kind of made me wish I was crazy (I guess I am already crazy and that makes me even more crazy for wishing to be so. OKAY SORRY)
Philo passed almost without event, I actually did my homework (Choose three examples of modern Pericles [who my teacher pronunces per-i-cals as opposed to per-i-klees, HE WAS GREEK FOR GOD SAKE GET IT RIGHT] and I chose the Dalai Lamma, Princess Di and George Bush and he told me they were too controversial! TOO FUCKING CONTROVERSIAL?! I ALMOST CHOSE ROBERT MUGABE, RASPUTIN AND HITLER, I'LL GIVE YOU FUCKING CONTROVERSIAL)

Now i am in textiles and it blows, get me out of here

Peace Y'all.

Clowning around.

Hey ho!

Sunday was a pretty good day. 'Woke up fairly late - probably due to my prolonged hangover - and headed to lunch where I had some delightful oysters and fish 'n' chips at Frog Faced Fish - they went together better then it sounds. After this I skidaddled to work with the new guy, C (probably perfect for RWP, fairly cute but has facial peircings which i'm not big on) in Clearwater Bay. NIGHTMARE PARTY, rich Indians (though I am, as a whole very fond of the indian race holla, sgibit and dv) who were tres unresponsive. We started early AND gave them 40 minutes extra PLUS a second person for free and they STILL couldn't tip us (the guy actually asked me for 50 dollars change - I am not remotely impressed since they own several office blocks in TST so they can blatently afford to tip us 50 bucks, come on man!). I ate a bit, but the food wasnt mind-blowing so C and I headed for a beer somewhere in Hang Hau - he is very gentlemanly as he bought me one which I was impressed by. Then I got home, went to sleep... only to be woken up by my dear mama at 1:30 because she was in a pickled state. Through her slurring I just about deciphered WHY she had woke me up, and this is because she finally got the email from school about my friday for skiving philo. OH CAN I HEAR YOU SAY SHIT? And she found out about me sneaking out last night. You know what the thing is about my mother? She completely turns things against me as well as herself, which is completely ridiculous as she always complains about how she is paying for my school fees and I don't do any work. WHY DON'T I DO MY WORK? BECAUSE I AM SO FUCKING TIRED IN THE MORNING (also I hate school, but that is beside the point). Anyway to cut a long story short I want to move out ASAP as soon as I get me some Dzz. So I slept in this morning, and lolopped my way to school at around 9:15 which made me miss part of English which was quite disconcerting as it's my favourite subject. :(. Now I am sitting next to DV right now and I have the uneasy feeling he is about to turn off my computer so tata for now!
LOVE YOU!
x

Hookups and... heartbreaks?

So I didn't tell my mother about the detention in the end, I know I am a bad person.

ANYWAY. Skived PE (last period) in order to go with Cesca and Ginge to get CHIKACHIKA FAKE IDs. I know, I am so mature. This involved us behaving like we were eighteen (all three of us playing tap tap revolution on Cesca's phone with the sound turned up at full volume) and them taking passport photos etc.. All very unnerving and alarming with the whole ID number taking down and asking for your home address (I had a vision of the lady from the travel agents with her badly-fitting red suit and blue scarf - i have a feeling all travel agent people are failed air hostesses - sittting on top of a lamp post - we don't have trees in HK - spying on my house to see if I really was eighteen - I didn't get an ID, as I have never really felt the burning desire for one, but they used my address since my family have a laissez-faire attitude bout this sort of thing.) ANYWAY so we did that, Cesca and Ginge got their assorted food (Oh! If I ate...) and I smoked anti-socially in a corner, not unusually.
So after this, I hip-hop happened down to Central to go and get some new clothes (fail) and underwear (WHY WHY DID I FAIL AT THIS, WHY?!) and, of course Buckle's leaving present (fail again). So after these multiple failures I went home, had the fastest bath in history (I am rather off showers, I missed my bath so much in Italy as a carp took up residence in it) and jumped into an outfit that didn't smell too bad and headed to Buckle's leaving fiesta in the badlands of Sai Kung, MOFN (Middle of fucking nowhere).
Capes did a FANTABULOUS job of decorating and all that jazz, if you are reading this, consider a future career as an event planner. If you want to be a doctor, I hope that comment wasnt offensive :) big love. We had excellent drinks mixed by Buckle's brother who is really quite amiable and excellent food provided by the 'rents. Buckle finally showed up amidst much delight and Capes made a beautiful speech which I SWEAR didn't make me cry remotely. So after much drinkage and a quick stop at kelly's house (consisting of Kahlua drinking, dancing to Love Is Gone and painting my toenails drunkenly) we hopped on a chartered bus (i'm serious, consider it Capes) off to civilisation (LKF!). After Ginge and I drunkenly stumbled up D'auguilar street I remembered I had to go home and call my mother before the hardcore celebrations started. So using our random drunken luck we stumbled into Bala's to find RWP sitting with some obviously smitten and inebriated marine who is spending all his money on her, which is the type of thing that makes my night.
So after extricating RWP from this fellow we proceed to my belle papa's were we touched up our makeup, lied to my mother, and headed back out. By this time it was about 11. RWP had to be home by twelve due to various acts of inebriation so me and her had a quickie and our favourite la bodega (plus a tequila shot which, in retrospect, probably wasnt such a good idea) . I bumped into an english teacher at my school (which was surprisingly not awkward, but probably cus I was already so out of it) and we spied Anth and Karin heading up the hill and waved them over where they gratefully polished off my drink (which I was in no state to finish). We then headed to Behold for Rob's 18th which was probably a good party but I wasn't really having much fun as Buckle stole my cigs and I was abso fucking lutely dying for one. ALSO I was allowed to drink anymore as I was really quite out of it and if I have learnt one thing from the last three years, it's when to stop drinking.
But in between all this drinking, something quite pleasant happened. A v. steamy hookup that didn't quite end the way I wanted it to, but I guess that's what you get for being a campaigner for safe sex, WOOHOO yay me! But it was pleasant all the same.
After the best part of the night, things went down the slippery slope from there, I got even more bored and drunk. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING worse than being bored and drunk. it is just HIDEOUSLY, well... boring.
In the end, I decided that I would just go home, at the early hour of 1:45, which is practically sleeping before dinner for me. I am not quite sure how I got home, how I acquired a new shirt and two bottles of water and why i have a cut below my right eye.

I'm gonna miss you Buckle :)

PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST

Sorry maties, have been extremely busy these past few days so haven't been too great at keeping this thang up.

On Sunday I attended the Free Gaza protest. It was probably the most incredible feeling of community and human strangth. The people there were lovely also and we were invited about a million times to go back to the mosque with them and have lunch, really delightful. WRP made me a splendid poster (on which was inscribed "CO-EXIST" and on the back of which I wrote "END THE SILENCE"). Our group were allowed to stand at the very front as they wanted to show that there was a diversity of ages at the protest so we actually got to go to the US Embassy (we werent allowed to go to the Israeli one as I guess they thought we'd get a bit violent - but who would be to blame?) and saw the Consulate General, who was slightly disapointing, TBH (small, fat, ginger and a freemason). I was on TV too which was great fun and very very exciting.

On Monday I skived Philo which I had first thing (two reasons: I fucking hate my teacher, he is a fucking asshole and I didn't do my homework) instead I spent an hour in Mongkok trying to find spray paint so I could go tagging (bit dumb in nthe middle of the day but I was fucking bored). Unfortunately, Mr. Duddy saw me as I got back into school and gave me a fucking Friday. This means that if my mother finds out before Friday night I won't be able to go to buckle's leaving party which would distress me SO much. After that particularly traumatic run-in, Stoner and I headed to Pier Three for some always welcome beer. A point I was inclined to say when we were sitting down, sipping (well more like gulping) at our beverages, was that Hong Kong is probably the one place you can go drink in a bar with your school uniform and you don't get IDed.
This is why I hate going abroad so much.
Anyway, soon joining us was Lolly and his rather strangely attired friend (whose name I cannot recall) and we had another beer and joined Dilemma, M and WRP at Triple Os. We were soon joined by Pie who went off with Dilemma for a sisterly hair chopping session. After this, WRP, Lolly and I meandered in the general direction of our respective houses. WRP and I picked up Nicole, who entertained (or annoyed, depends how you look at it) WRP with endless requests to sing opera. And after about half an hour of infantile bickering we (minus Nicole) headed to WRP's house. Unfortunately I was struck down with such a dreadful headache that I spent most of my time at this delightful abode asleep in WRP's bed :(

Tuesday was nothing of not really, but I did have a wonderful fagversation with MUF down by school at lunchtime, he is not as dumb as people say haha and I enjoy our little chats very much. Makes me hate KGV a little less

Wednesday was fashion show rehearsals, skived PSE with Stoner, Ho and Capes. Most enjoyable. We were a little early so we went round to Stoner's for some shisha and beers and had some nice conversation, fairly chill. Rehearsals weren't nearly as much fun. I walked once at sat for about ten minutes then went to CWB for a giant stolen food fest with Cricks and Shreya (SORRY! I WILL think of a name for you soon :) ) and then went home for sushi, fuck I eat so much.

Today I havent really done anything. Fucked around in Young Enterprise, slept through TOK, paid a lot of attention in English and skived French.

What can I say, I'm an exemplary student.

FUCK I NEED TO START WORKING SOON
laterrr.

Civilisation at long last.

I AM BACK!
OH HALLELUJAH
WHEN WE LANDED I ALMOST KISSED THE GROUND.
Flight was pretty traumatic, almost missed the flight, thanks to my mother (again). Stopped off at Dubai for 15 freaking hours, my brother proceeded to consume the whole first class lounge's bar and throw up everywhere - a fact which I had to hide from my mother, not easy to say the least. However, I had a very nice shower, Emirates staff are most hospitable and friendly, and the food was decent for a change. Then I boarded a crap plane due towards HK, which obviously hadnt been refitted since the eighties or something, which had VIDEOS! Haha I ain't kdding, actually it was pretty awesomely old school.

Now I am at school, I feel fucking sick and I have my english IOP and I am so freaking nervous and tired (my flight landed a mere 11 hours ago and I am v.v.v. jetlagged to the extreme) but in the mock i got 28/30, so I should be good.
I also woke up at 4:30 tomorrow, watched all the news channels and shouted at the Israeali IDF minister (she wasn't actually in my house, she was on TV, she wouldnt make it into my house alive)
what I do not understand is how someone can repeat this brain dead rubbish with such utter conviction.
THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION OF WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THE GAZA STRIP, CAN'T YOU FUCKING IDIOTS SEE IT?
Fuck, it makes me so damn mad.


I dont know what I am doing here. I can see how the guy at virginia tech felt - he'd probably got off a long distance flight and his classmates were being annoying
that was a joke in bad taste
and I don't care.

When in Rome...

STILL in pizzaza land. Things have cheered up slightly since I have finally left my little bumfuck town to the big cityyy.
BEFORE MY ACCOUNT OF ROME, I would like to quite clearly state, that my blog is a LOT of exaggeration, I gripe about my life but I do not ACTUALLY believe that I am hard up, as a comment from a lady called "Hilary" seemed to imply. So basically, I complain and bitch but thats what I do, because I am a teenager, not because I am ungrateful and whatnot. Just to clarify.

ANYHOO. Romaa. Well we caught the train on time AGAIN which was pretty much the big feat of the day. INCROYABLE! We arrived at st. pietro and went to go see la fontagne di trevy, with the WHOLE Parkinson crew. Let me tell you, we are a BIZZARRE sight. There is my aunt Arabella who insists talking as loud as possible, wears bright jumpers that look like a cable knit factory exploded on her, and her husband Al who is a neurotic Canadian Bomb disposal expert who thinks ANYTHING is a possible serious threat to his children. THEN there are their kids - Charles, who is a mini version of Alfred Hitchcock (not the fact that he is extrememely talented at making films, but he has these HUGE droopy cheeks and eats more than my brother and I combined) - HOWEVER, whenever Alex and I refer to him as fat or chubby, his parents are most offended and pretty much explode at us! Seriously, parents nowadays. Then there are the ANGELIC Isabella and Leonora who are brats of the first degree, though adroable. When faced with something they don't like all they have to do is screw up their faces in despair and Arabella or Al fall over themselves to set it right. After this is my other aunt Miranda (affectionatly known as Babu) who is ALSO very loud with a messed up foot so she has to wear silly looking trainers with every outfit (I have a feeling she is going to wear them to her wedding). Babs is a doctor and the Prodigal Daughter of the family, I am just jealous cus she is waaayyy hot and I am upset my boobs aren't as big as hers :( how sad is my life? MOVING ON: there is Tom(Babu's fiance - flamboyant dress sense, looks like a prep school boy on crack but is really quite nice) my mother (well... basically, psycho who always wears black) and my brother Alex (6 foot tall with the mentality of an eight year old, still thinks he is living in apartheid south africa), DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY GRANDPARENTS AND MY UNCLE, THOSE LISTED ARE THE NORMAL MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY. Anyway, after this we all headed to the Peroni Birreria (beer brewery) Where I had some mediocre calamari - well it was tough, it tasted like a skunk fresh from the abatoir, and the sauce was basically frog spawn mixed in with the afterbirth of satan. My brother daringly ordered a hamburger which was basically two slabs of suspicious looking meat of dubious origin and patatines (fries). However the beer was nice and the family was behaving reasonably normal. yay! Anyway, after this we headed to GIOLITTI'S - FINALLY! It was reasonably empty which was a miracle (meaning there was only two or three groups of 100 cub scouts), I had caramel, menthe and nocciola which was tasty, then most of Babu's ice cream cus she is obsessed with not eating too much sugar. After this we all went to our v. useless exhibition by Jean-Michel Basquiat which was a TOTAL waste of time. To sum him up: he was young and black, spent all his time moaning about how he was always an outcast when he lived on the ''streets"- it was later found out that he had a cushy middle class upbringing etc. etc. and his PAINTINGS, do NOT get me started on the fucking paintings, they were basically shopping lists with random brushstrokes over the top, it was a waste of 15 euros in short. However I really did like the title of the exhibition "to repel ghosts", well it is more beautiful in italian, but i doubt any italians read my blog!! haha. Anyway, then Tom, Babs and I headed to cafe greco for drinks and hopped in a cab to the station and got the train back to LOSM (little old santa marinella)
anyway, I'm out. peace homies
homeward bound i miss Hong Kong and having a life, never fear, I shall return in THREE DAYS MO FUCKERS.

Happy. Fucking. New. Years.

I HATE MY LIFE
new years sucked.
I am pretty sure 2009 is going to fucking suck
Depression is setting in. I was MEANT to go to a club in Tolfa with my aunt and some italiano peeps, but tolfa is heaps high in the mountains and there was just an accident up there in which five teenagers were killed in a car crash so we werent fucking allowed, so we were already pissed.
We had to have a freaking STUPID DINNER in which i did not want to eat anything. We had salmon freaking mousse (I am so fucking sick of freaking salmon) and pigs trotter. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN PIGS TROTTER?! IT'S FUCKING DEGUTANTE. AND I WAS MADE TO FREAKING EAT IT!!
WITH LENTILS!!!!
(this is some kind of barbaric italian tradition on new years)
fuck!
Lentils are meant to represent prosperity and luck in the coming year - I doubt this will do much for me.
After this - the only fun part of the evening - Alf and I made Creme Brulee with a BLOWTORCH and almost singed my other aunt's eyebrows off. HAHAHA hilarious.
We also drank a lo of moose milk (well its basically just milk and about nine tenths rum) and i felt quit sick by the end
Towards the countdown everyone was starting to pass out thanks to a large quantity of moose milk, wine and prossecco (like an italian version of champagne). Suddenly everyone buggered off to our Jewish/American/Lesbian neighbour Rosie's - ditching my mother, Alex, Ags and Al
FUCKING HELL I CANT FUCKING FINISH ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE I HAVE TO LOOK AFTER MY AUNTS FREAKING BRATS.
TALK LATER.